5 Secret Love Language of Pastors

Have you ever wondered what makes your Pastor happy and feel loved? Have you ever asked yourself how you can put yourself at the top of your pastor’s prayer list without asking? Have you ever wondered what it will take to make your Pastor feel appreciated other than the regular “thank you and God bless you” that you say every now and then when you feel blessed by the sermon?

Church going Christians will agree that most of our Pastors go above and beyond to make sure they meet our needs. Here are 5 love languages most pastors understand and praying for them is at the bottom of the list.

I. The Faithful Paying of Tithes and Offerings

1. A person’s commitment to God is not gauged by how much they sing, dance, or cry in a church service or alone worshipping. This is considered merely sentimentalism towards God–not commitment–if not backed up with a financial commitment.

2. Jesus spoke about money more than any other subject in the New Testament. All of the parables either directly or indirectly implied the way a person stewarded their money. This is because, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21).

3. I know a person’s commitment to God three ways:

A. Let me see their checkbook.

B. Let me view their credit card bills.

C. How they use their discretionary time.

4. How a person spends their time and money is a greater indicator of how much they love God than what they express with their mouth. For example, the average American Christian spends more money on vacations and entertainment then they give to the church and missions.

II. Faithful Church Attendance

1. Some estimate there are 25 million unchurched Evangelicals in our nation. For many it is because they were hurt in a church; others think they can have a totally private walk with the Lord as long as they watch Christian television and hear Gospel preaching and teaching, etc.

2. The Bible teaches that, when we come to Christ, we become a part of His body (1 Corinthians 12:12-13). Whether we like the church or not, it is impossible to be saved outside of becoming a part of the church!

3. When we are not faithfully committed to and functioning properly in a local church and/or the greater body of Christ, we become dysfunctional members of the body in the same way we may have a broken foot, paralyzed hand, etc. We may still be part of the body but not a functional part (read 1 Corinthians 12). (This is why translocal ministers have a hard time functioning in one local church on a regular basis.)

4. Some folks constantly miss important church services, then tell their pastor “I was with you in spirit although not present in body.” I tell such people I would rather you were with me in body because then your spirit would catch up anyway!

5. To see the importance of church attendance look no further than Acts 2:1-4, in which only the 120 people present in the upper room were filled with the Holy Spirit. The other 380 people mentioned in 1 Corinthians 15:6 missed this historic beginning of the church even if their spirit and heart loved Jesus!

III. Volunteering Time and Service

1. Most churches depend on a volunteer army for the general operations of the church. For example, ushers, worship team, technical teams, Sunday school teachers, etc. are usually all unpaid volunteers.

2. Without a volunteer army, a church cannot possibly sustain itself and would be limited to a membership of 20-30 people.

3. A church will grow commensurate with the amount of faithful volunteers it can recruit and properly train.

4. If a person says they are committed to God and the church, yet are not willing to volunteer their time and steward their gifts in the context of the local church, most pastors will view them as uncommitted both to God and the church.

IV. Bringing New People to Church

1. The average church loses about one-third of its regular attendees annually for any number of reasons, including moving geographically away, apostasy and backsliding, being offended, not making enough friends, discouragement, not connecting to the vision of the church, etc.

2. Because of the annual average loss of people, churches are constantly under pressure to replenish their attendance with new people by about 33% annually to sustain their current amount of attendees. Because pastors generally spend most of their time ministering to the flock, they depend on the flock to recruit new members.

3. The primary mission of the church is to win souls and make disciples. Thus, a church that doesn’t encourage its members to reach out to unchurched people and evangelize is a church that is dead or dying and doesn’t know it.

4. A church that has an average age of 50 or more and doesn’t have a plan to reach the next generation is a church without a future, even if it has a lot of attendees and members.

V. Regularly Praying for and Affirming the Pastor, Leadership, and Church Vision

1. Since overseeing a local church is extremely difficult, pastors greatly value those who regularly pray for them and their family.

A. Pastors can intuit who is really praying for them and can distinguish from those who merely say they are praying for them.

2. Pastors and spouses need a lot of affirmation and especially take note when congregants speak affirming words and/or give gifts and tokens of appreciation for all their hard work.

3. I tell churches I visit as a guest minister that if they love their families and businesses, the greatest thing they can do is fast and pray for their pastor and family because, as the pastor goes, so goes the local church, and as the local church goes so goes the destiny of their families and businesses for generations to come!

I hope this has helped you. Show your pastors more love with actions, not just words and you will be greatly blessed for it.