12 Tips to Ensure the Success of Your Marriage - Sam Adeyemi

Marriage is not only important to those who participate; it’s important to God – so much that there are hundred of things God says about the sacred union in his Word. In fact, marriage, with all its rewards and challenges, is the very metaphor Christ often uses to describe our individual relationships with Him.

This month, we’re focused on providing practical and applicable ways for you to strengthen your marriage in our Marital Success sermon series. But, even if you are not married or are single and looking to get married one day, these tips will prove meaningful for you when the time is right!

Here are 12 Tips to Ensure the Success of Your Marriage:

Have a Plan

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. It requires thoughtful planning. Take time out to review your plans for your family’s future. Set goals. Start planning your future today!

Quality time

Couples need to take time out to enjoy each other’s company. Make this a regular or twice a month, fixed night every month. Make sure this date is “unmovable” and is a priority above all else. Start today!

Quickly Forgive

Forgiveness is one of the foundations to building successful marriage. There will be times when your mate makes mistakes, causes hurt feelings and even frustration (and you will do the same!). JUST FORGIVE! Let go and let God!

Remember 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Listen!

This is for us Men mostly. We have a hard time listening to our partners sometimes. Make it a priority in your Marriage to not just hear your partner, but listen to what your partner is saying in an effort to understand. If you can listen you can communicate better. Listening to the needs of your partner will always keep communication open and will set the stage to help you both endure difficult times.

Be Sensitive and proactive

One of the results that married couples achieve with greater intimacy is greater sensitivity to one another’s needs. Being sensitive and tuned into your partner helps to make you proactive about fulfilling their needs, which then increases intimacy. It’s a cyclical effect that yields tremendous results!

Don’t Fall Into The “For Granted Effect”

Years of being in holy matrimony can sometimes make us comfortable. Still, it’s important to never take your partner for granted. Even though you have both promised to remain with one another for better or for worse, it’s necessary to understand that their presence is not guaranteed. Be respectful to one another both privately and publicly, cherish your partner and treat them well every day.

Prayer Is Key

Ask the Holy Spirit for help in your Marriage. Take it seriously. Pray together always. Do not leave the Holy Spirit out of your Marriage. The Holy Spirit is your best ally in marriage and when you invite God into your union, you’re never alone! Remember, Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Grow together

In our series we discussed the importance of growing together in Marriage. This is more about carrying each other along and ensuring that you are both headed in the same direction. The bible says in Amos 3:3, “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?” The strength of your marriage depends on individual and collective growth. This tip is so important that we have a whole message on this in the Marital Success Series!

Value Leadership

Leadership is important to a successful Marriage. Excellent leadership skills are required – from both partners! Whether you know it or not, your union is an example for so many others in the world. What is your family’s mission statement? It’s surprising to know that most families don’t have one. Ask yourselves, “What are we here for?”  A successful marriage always has a vision, dream, goals, and plans for the future. Lead by example with your spouse and children.

Avoid Comparison

Do not get sucked into comparing your wife or husband with other people. This breeds resentment, bitterness, insecurities and unhappiness.  Understand your marriage is like a fingerprint. It’s different from any other union your friends, family and acquaintances may share.

Use your words to build one another up every day

One of the most basic human needs we have is affirmation. Your spouse is no different! Use words and affirmative phrases like:

• “you are the best”
• “I love you”
• “thank you”  
• “I am always proud of you”
• “let me help you with that”

When you build each other with positive words, you will increase intimacy, trust and confidence over time in your wife or husband. Words are powerful; use them wisely in your Marriage!

Know your partner’s Love Language

Understanding the primary ways your spouse feels loved is an incredibly powerful way to strengthen your marriage. Once you know your partner’s love language, you’re able to respond to them in a way that’s positive and affirming.  To learn more about Love Languages, check out the book “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

In Hebrews 3:4, the Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all,” which is why it’s so important to commit to working on your union every single day!